Silesian Sadness
by Saya Kurobara
Summary: Several incredibly angsty stories revolving around Prussia and Austria. Warning: Character Death, Suicide and mentions of the events of WWII.
1. Chapter 1

30K Ft- Assemblage 23

Hello, are you there? Pick up the phone, Roddy. It looks like I won't make it home after all. The plane is going down and I don't think that I could possibly survive. I wanted to make sure I told you before the end that I love you more than you would ever know.

I know that you and I used to fight, that I would go out of my way to make you miserable. It was only because I wanted so badly to have your attention. I wanted you to know that I was constantly thinking of you. I wanted you to know that you were the one I wanted more than any other.

When I went after Silesia it was because I knew it was your heart; the land that pumped the rest of your nation with sustenance that it needed to survive. I would have given you everything if you had just glanced my way and told me you felt the same. I would have gone and conquered the world for you.

But now I am not even a nation anymore, a released prisoner, coming home as a free man just to die on the way. Remember me, Roddy, bitte. I know it hurts and I am so sorry. Auf Wiedersehen, Roddy. Ich liebe…..

End of message.

Author's note: Hallo there- long time no see- Don't worry I will continue my other unfinished fictions but here are some that have been on my mind.

All of these have songs as my prompts and they are all really depressing. Sorry.


	2. Chapter 2

Songs: Mein Herz Brennt (Piano Version)- Rammstein, The Kill- 30 seconds from Mars, Out of sight- Spirtualized

His red eyes were closed as he pulled the trigger. It was the first and only time that he had pulled that trigger without a uniform on.

It began with the fall of the Berlin Wall. He struggled so hard to feel. He would do anything that would take the pain away. Codeine became Morphine, Morphine became Heroine, and Heroine led to more. Nothing took the emptiness away. Memories would flood his mind, all the pain that the wars piled on him. He became more and more paranoid as the days went on.

It was becoming so bad that his brother was considering making him see a psychiatrist. Any time anyone would visit they would be turned away. "Tut mir leid, Gilbert is not up for company." Really he didn't want anyone to hear the murmurs and accusations of the albino former nation. He wanted them to remember him as he was, not the raving lunatic in the basement.

Finally he decided to get out, free himself from the partially self-imposed prison. He held the Makarov in his pocket, still afraid that the Russian would try to bring him back to Moscow. The man who had broken his mind would be the type to do that wouldn't he? The war was entirely his fault. The atrocities his brother committed were all on his head, because he had trained him. He had made him into the nation he had become.

Part of him had considered turning that pistol on himself. He was nothing more than a burden, a memory of the past, a relic; but he knew how much his brother hated messes and he wouldn't think to leave that mess for his brother to clean up.

His footsteps echoed in the alleyways of Berlin when he heard a familiar voice. No, Roderich should be at home in Vienna, not here in Berlin. "Please, let me go, I just took a wrong turn." That was so like him; getting lost and into trouble.

The other man's voice had a menacing timbre his words threatening. "Now why would I let a fine piece of ass like you go when I can have a taste for myself?"

The Prussian rounded the corner to see the larger man pressing _his_ Roddy against the wall. No the Austrian hated him, this he was sure of. How would one explain the fact that he hadn't even bothered to visit him in all the months since his release? Regardless, the glint of a knife in the twilight caught the Prussian's eye and without thinking, the Makarov was in his hand. "Let him go!"

"Oh look we have a goody little two shoes who thinks he can save the day." The larger man reminded him of someone. No, he wasn't going to take the Austrian and screw him up like he did the former nation.

He lifted the pistol and took aim. "Nein, you verdammten Arschloch!" His eyes closed as he squeezed the trigger. It was the first time he had killed a man when he wasn't in uniform, and it would be the last.

He stood there the gun still smoking in his hand as the sirens started to wail nearby, the look of shock when he realized he had shot a normal human, one of his brother's citizens. His eyes blurred and he fell to his knees.

The Austrian stood there and gazed at the man who had held his heart for so long. "Gilbert…" It was soft, and he was amazed that the Prussian had stepped in to save him. Shocked more so that he had left the house, as he was just on his way to see him. He knelt before him, for once ignoring the compromising position and wrapped his arms around him. "Danke."


	3. Chapter 3

Eraser- Draculatron, Music- Draculatron, I hate everything about you- Three Days Grace.

He was a prisoner in his own home, and he knew what was coming. The once proud empire was being dissolved, and they weren't even going to let him die with the dignity he so desperately wanted. Everyone that he cared about had turned their back on him. They blamed the war on him. Fine screw them. He knew that he would end up the villain even after he pushed back against his brother's boss.

Yeah, what a piece of work and he wasn't even German, an Austrian by birth. How he hated Austria at that moment. It was entirely his fault that he was in this situation.

"East Germany. Heh what a joke, no one will remember what I was." He muttered into the beer he had poured as he waited. He was distracted by the soft knock on the door. "Probably Alfred or Russia," He never spoke the latter's name out of hatred, "to bring me the news."

He opened the door surprised to see a certain brunette standing there. None of the Axis Powers were supposed to be there and Austria definitely counted as he was so prominent. His crimson eyes surveyed the man in his long black pea coat, his ascot gently catching the breeze. "Guten Abend, Preussen."

The albino was torn as to whether or not he wanted to punch his visitor or hug him. "H-How did you get past the guards?"

He didn't smile. Roderich never smiled, however one side of his lips quirked up. "I just had to let them search me. I- I had to see you…"

He gazed into the amethyst eyes that hid behind glass. "I don't understand."

The Austrian shook his head, silencing the Prussian. "Think about it Gil-"

"What is there to think about? _Everyone_ hates me- The nation of Prussia, the army with a nation." He said it ruefully cutting off the Austrian. "You're probably here to- I don't know, gloat or something over how far I've fallen."

"Stubborn Piefka" He muttered as a frown spread across the brunette's lips as he narrowed his eyes. "Do you really think that?"

The Prussian remained silent.

"…Gilbert."

"I don't know, Roddy." He sounded frustrated even though it was nearly a whisper. "I really don't know." But Roderich caught the sound, adjusting his glasses.  
The sound of a vehicle pulling into the driveway pulled them from the silence that seemed to last for hours. "Gilbert I don't know what will happen to you but… I wanted to tell you-"

The sound of heavy footsteps approaching outside forced urgency. "Roderich, you don't have to-"

"Gilbert, I love..." The sound of a metal pipe on the door frame interrupted them.

Crimson eyes met violet before the Prussian offered a quick, chaste kiss. "Hide." He hissed silently before going to greet his new master. "I'm ready to go Russland."

The Russian pushed him forward a bit roughly even though he was going willingly. He cast one final glance toward Austria. How he loved him.


	4. Chapter 4

Sex (I'm A) - Zombie Girl

They all saw it. It happened at the reunification celebration. Germany and Prussia, correction, East Germany stood on the balcony watching the people celebrate, fireworks booming overhead when suddenly the Pale man collapsed.

He hadn't noticed how much thinner the albino had gotten, how much more frail. He had become a mere shadow of the man he once was. He should have been one of the first to notice how the man he loved had slowly aged more than one would think possible for one of their kind.

He was frozen as the blonde nation in shock and worry began to check for a pulse and breathing. They were bustling around him, Spain beginning compressions as Germany began rescue breaths, France running to call for an ambulance.

And he couldn't move his deep violet eyes locked on the albino. _No, this can't be happening,_ he thought. "Nein…"

"Italien, get Roderich into the living room, calm him down!" The German demanded of his first friend, who was trying to find a way to be useful. His eyes were locked on the albino until the Paramedics took him from the room.

The phone rang some time later and the Italian picked it up. "Papa, it's for you."

"Hallo… this is Roderich."

'Roderich…' He hadn't heard the strong German sound like this since he said good-bye in 1947. 'Th-they couldn't save him… B-bruder ist…' He could hear the sniffles as his own heart beat began to thrum in his ears.

His face fell. He had only just professed his love before the Prussian became a Soviet State. His chance to build what he wanted for years was gone. He couldn't respond- his world was gone.

The funeral was small; all too many people had forgotten the man that looked so peaceful in the black coffin. He always had a flair for the dramatic, and only seven people showed up. Ludwig hadn't even bothered slicking his hair back that morning, though his black suit was still perfectly pressed. Italy was only there to support his lover, and occasionally try to comfort the man who raised him. America came, only because the Prussian was the one who helped him gain his independence. His best friends Spain and France came of course, but there was none of the levity that they usually brought with them. Finally Hungary, his ex-wife and the Prussian's first crush sat beside him. Though she did not want to intrude, how many arguments she had been the cause of.

There were no tears shed from the amethyst eyes, even though he felt as if his heart was breaking. Not even as he laid the cornflowers in the casket on top of the Prussian, dressed in the German Imperial Uniform. It was his finest achievement, truly unifying the German states into nation. Cornflowers were always Prussia's favorite.

The following days were a blur. He had dismissed any permanent staff that he had in his home and had taken a leave of absence from his duties as a nation. He stared at the ivory and black of his piano. No song would come. He wasn't eating. He just sat there at his piano, wishing that the Prussian would show up.

Days became weeks, he had stopped taking calls and he avoided visitors, though Germany and Italy may have shown up to check on him.

He would never hear the proclamations of awesomeness again. His snicker "Kesesesesese" wouldn't ever reach his ears again, and that was really what inspired him.

He sat at the piano and began to compose an impromptu piece, recording it. It was a melancholic piece, displaying the rise and fall of his love. All the love and all the hate they shared; all the battles, and all the scars. It came quickly and never once hit paper.

It was his farewell, his decision set in stone as the final note echoed through the chamber.

He lay there on the polished floor the alcohol and laudanum mixing in his system as he heard the knock on the door. "Open the Door Roddy! Please Open the Door!" The sound of his ex-wife at the door was perfectly covered by the sight of the albino kneeling beside him. "Hey there, Roddy… Welcome home."


	5. Seems- WAAILS (the least depressing one)

"Seems" by WAAILS

She closed her green eyes after looking at her husband. It seemed more and more that this arrangement was simply for his protection. That red eyed menace had a tendency to attack when he was at his most vulnerable.

He had barely touched her once during their long marriage, and that was simply because he had to consummate it to bind them in the sight of their religion. But she saw how he looked at _him_- Prussia. She didn't notice that the albino had that same look in his eyes; the look of sheer admiration, of desire. And now it was over.

"Damn it, Roderich. Please."

His amethyst eyes looked up at her in confusion, seeing the tears welling up. She was always a strong woman, someone who he felt that he could count on. "Was ist los?" His voice was soft, as he spoke the soft German words.

"I know you are in love with that jerk." She said it point blank. She knew how easy it was to fall for the carefree charm. He was her first friend after all and her first crush. But she loved Austria, and she could tell he wasn't in love with her. For all these centuries their marriage was a lie, and no one knew. Not even Italy or Germany.

"Was? Nein!" He denied it even as his heart pounded. He knew who he meant, and deep down he really did. He had to keep up the façade.

"You do, a woman knows, Roddy!" Her lower lip trembled. "I've seen how you look at him!"

He looked away slightly. "Tut mir leid, Elizaveta…"

She bit her lip. "I know. I'm going to leave tomorrow…" She looked down and took a deep breath. "They ruled that we can't be togehter and since you don't love me maybe it's for the better…"

"Eliza, I do care for you."He argued.

"It's fine, Roderich, just please, for tonight, kiss me, hold me close, and lie to me."

AN: This is the least depressing unless you ship AusHun but it's really short.

So because I used so much German Translations:

"Was ist Los?"= What's wrong"

"Was? Nein!"= What? No!

"Tut mir leid."= I'm sorry.


End file.
